a letter

i saw this thing where you write a letter to your 16 year old self and i really wanted to do it but i'm not 16 so instead i'm doing one to myself 6 months ago, in August so here goes...

ruby,

right now your struggling, you just don't know it yet. already someone is worrying about you and the fact that your not eating. you think your fine but in one month you won't be allowed at school anymore and in 2 months time you will be in hospital.

you're excited about year 10, but you'll only be there for 2 weeks. stop this now before it gets too late and you can't. life is for living and having fun with your friends, not for having constant arguments with your dad about food, which will happen soon. life is not for being in hospital sitting for hours on end eating a meal and praying they'll just take it away if you take long enough. life is not for worrying about weight. if you carry on the way you're going, in 6 months time you will be having a rubbish time, worrying about extra snacks and target weights. you'll be worrying about periods coming back soon. not because you want kids, but because you want to stop putting on weight.

stop this now. please. because if you don't, who knows what the future will hold. your school work will suffer and in january you'll still be on work from september and you'll be having to drop 3 subjects so you can attempt to stay in year 10.

if you have to carry on the way you are going then don't do one thing. when you put on 0.4kg don't freak out and pour your fortisips down the drain because i can promise you now that you will regret doing that for the rest of your life.

good luck

peace

x